Hi Haley!! I love your story idea. I mean, wow, that is so creative! I honestly never thought of the parents of most fairytale characters, unless they were a big part of the story themselves. One thing I would recommend (which is something someone told me to do) would be to spice up your site theme. I originally just picked a random one with a color scheme that I liked, but after going through some more of the themes, I found that there are so many cute ones! I really like the picture on your cover, so maybe something that matches that? The colors are really nice, and the nature theme goes well with the fairytale aspect!! Also, you may be able to change the title at the top, "Myth and Folklore," just to something that is more reflective of your stories! I'm excited to see how your Storybook turns out, I know it's going to be incredible!
Hey Haley! I love the idea for your storybook! I agree that there is never a lot of information about the parents in fairy tales. There is always just enough information to get the story started, but sometimes there isn’t enough to quench our curiosity. I like that you are twisting the stories to make the parents the primary characters. It is always fun to read a well known story from a new perspective. I really like that you are going to dive into the pasts of individual characters. I think that will answer a lot of “I wonder” questions. The main “I wonder” question being “I wonder why they are the way they are?” I am very excited to read your storybook. I love all things fairy tale related and I think this will be an interesting take on well known stories. I am also excited to get to know these seemingly new characters! Overall I think your introduction is well put together. You give good information on what is going to be taking place and why you chose to go with this theme. The only flaw I saw was a small grammatical error in “Her dad passes away to,” it should be “too.” That was literally the only mistake that I personally saw. Well done and I can’t wait to read the rest of your storybook!
Great Topic! I have read many fairytales, but not once, I think about the parents in those fairy tales. Never wondering why Cinderella’s stepmother treats Cinderella so badly. I just accepted the story as it is, and sometimes, these ideas are misleading like not all stepparents are bad. So, I am very intrigued by your topic. I like your clock image in the Intro page. It stands as an allusion of time, past and future. However, I suggest you change the color of your fonts. White font on light blue background is very hard to read. Since you have the topics for the all stories that you going to tell, what do you think about some images for each topic, showing the image of the parent in the fairy tales? Like the Cinderella’s stepmother, Belle’s father, Rapunzel’s mom, and Snow White’s stepmother? I can’t wait to read the stories of these parents!
I think your storybook is going to be really interesting! I personally loved all of those fairy tales. Cinderella was one of my favorites. It will be cool and fun to read about their parents. I never really thought about them until now. I like how you added questions in your introduction because it makes me question myself. I wonder how Cinderella’s nice mother died. Will we get to find out in the story? Also, why did Belle’s mother leave? I think it will be interesting if you talked about both the parents because they both have a big impact on their kids.
Overall, your introduction is great. I like your idea of going way back to the past to talk about the character’s parents. It will be cool to see why they ended up the way they are. After reading your introduction, I am excited to read the stories!
Hey Haley! I was immediately drawn to your story because of your title. When I clicked on your storybook link, your cover picture really hooked me. your layout was great, love the font. It really gave off a Disney vibe. Another thing that got me was that this is set in the Disney princesses' universe. I love Disney with a passion. I could watch Disney princesses movies all day. I know that there are other people out there like me (whether they admit it or not) so you picked a great subject. We all have seen or heard the tales of these different princesses but not the back story of their parents. I love that you added a little description of who would we be reading about. Each description gives a little taste of what is to come, its a great hook. Honestly, I can not wait to read what your next story. Great job!
I honestly love your storybook! I thought you picked a super creative and interesting topic to do yours on and I cant wait to read more of it. I think its interesting how you never really know a whole lot about the parents of the characters in the disney movies, so I think its awesome how you've created a storybook to tell their backstories for us. I enjoyed how you gave a little exert on each character and what they experienced in their story and how it impacted their parents or how their parents impacted them to act like that. Im really looking forward to looking back at this storybook and reading more about the princesses and their parents. Keep up the good work!
I truly enjoyed your storybook! I think your topic is creative and out of the box. I think it is important for writers to stretch themselves and my focusing on a minor character, such as parents, is a great way to do that. I never would've thought to learn the backstories of these parents. Your introduction clearly articulated what the storybook was going to be about and what the reader is going to be expecting. Looking forward to reading your future stories. Great work.
P.S- I love the font you chose for your introduction, it gives it a handwritten feel. Makes it more authentic. Great choice!!
Hi Haley! I decided to choose your storybook for my third option. I was really intrigued by your introduction when I read it a few weeks ago and I have been patiently waiting to be able to read your first story. That being said, I was not disappointed! I thought you did a great job introducing the characters and bringing them to life. I think a "wow" factor was how in depth you portrayed Elle in such a short amount of sentences. The story wasn't very long, but you were able to clearly show what Elle was like and why she was that way, which can be hard to do. I also thought you did a good job contrasting Elle and the stepmother. The other interesting aspect was the healing powers Ella possessed, it reminded me of Tangled and how Rapunzel healed Flynn with her tears at the end. You did a great job keeping the story close to the original while also adding enough detail and changes to make it your own. The one thing that I would suggest fixing is just making sure you stay in one verb tense. There were a few places that seemed to go back and forth like "...was to celebrate his adulthood and trying to find a wife." Other than that I thought it was well written and satisfied the expectations that your introduction created.
Hi Haley! I have read your storybook introduction and your first story already. However, I noticed that you added on to your introduction, which is great! I like how you laid out the path for all four stories you plan on doing. It gives us time to imagine where you will take us with your story and what questions you will answer about the parents. I think it is a great way to start out your storybook because it does a good job of hooking the reader. I also like how you changed up your layout and the images you used! The image of the road is beautiful and gives it a magical feel and provides the idea that we are fixing to embark on a journey. The clock also adds a fairy tale feel because of its unique design. The image of the cottage in your first story is also a great visual for where Elle and/or Ella were raised. Overall your image tie into your storybook very well! After rereading your story I was reminded how much I enjoyed it. I think you did a really good job portraying Elle and showing us how she helped influence Ella growing up. I also think you added to your author's note because it is a little different than I remember, but I think it is great and provides good information to link the reader to your inspiration for your story! Good job and I can't wait to read your next stories!
I'm slightly cracking up at your take for your future story posts. I mean that in the best way possible because it is so different and my mind was already flooded with so many different ways to write the stories that we have already read in class. Cinderella - I think you did an excellent job avoiding making this story too dark due to the story's origin. I think your description is spot on, I would have liked to have seen some more dialogue and for it to be in it's own section. I appreciate the even formatting of your writing.
First of all, Wow! Such a fun and creative idea to run with for your storybook! It is always interesting to play with the supporting characters of such famous stories. Secondly, after reading both your introduction and Cinderella addition I was really impressed with your writing. Reading the Cinderella portion of your introduction was great in preparing me to read your newest update. As for the actual Cinderella piece, I found myself enjoying the story as it went along but I did hope to have more dialogue and detail added in. Now that is kind of a vague suggestion but as I was reading I realized I wanted to know even more about the character of Elle. I would suggest reading over your piece with a fine tooth comb and looking out for any other places you could add detail or maybe just add in some more dialogue so the reader gets a clear idea of Elle's voice (metaphorically). Otherwise, like I said I really enjoyed your creative storybook thus far, I cannot wait to read more!
I’m glad that keep the main story the same as the original version. Your version did clarify why Cinderella is very optimistic and kind heart even she lives such a hard life full with curse and hardship. It was taught to her by her loving mother. Like her mother, who spread the joy to other people and received happy life although it was short, Cinderella received her rewards for her kindness and optimistic view. I was hoping that Cinderella’s father would be change to make Cinderella’s life better. I keep wondering why her father is not noticing Cinderella’s ugly clothes while his stepdaughters wore expensive outfits. Maybe you can give some reasons why he is not noticing like the Stepmother made her daughters dressed like Cinderella so Cinderella is not stand out etc. In addition, there is a little spelling error. In third paragraph, I think you meant Ella is a splitting image of her mom, but the sentence was “she was the spitting image…” Finally, your font is a bit hard to read. Can you make it larger or change the font to easier-to-read font? Overall, I love your story. Keep up the good work!
I enjoyed reading your story. When I was finished reading your story my first thought was it was a Cinderella and Ella Enchanted mixture. I like the fact that her father made it back with a branch for his daughter. The idea of the branch he brought back growing into a tree is amazing. The tree that would be home to all here friends right next to her mothers grave is a great idea, because when you are sad you can always use the help of your friends. I enjoy the fact that her father is still alive at this point in the story! It is a great change from the original. I wonder what would happen if something happened to one of here rude stepsisters? If not her stepsisters maybe her rude, manner less stepmother? I am happy that Ella married the prince and had a daughter. I can't wait to see what happens in the rest of the story!
I love that your intro makes me think about my parents (as they totally rock)- but also makes me think about fairy tale character parents. The first thing that came to my mind was about Cinderella-- and I can see that's your first story!
Cinderella: I love how creative you were making this story. There are so many different ways that you could have developed these characters, but you chose one that fit the story so well! I love the twist that you put on the end, rather than to introduce the fairy godmother. It really brings the whole story together. Such a great twist on a popular story!
Beauty and the Beast: This story really shows that James was such a good dad. He just wanted to make his girls happy! I love that this story has a happy ending. It was cool to see the details surrounding the original, well known story. Great job on your project, cant wait to read more!
These are some fun stories! It’s a cool idea . . . I feel like it’s common to go into the perspective of the bad guy, but much less common to do that with the parent. I also really like your first image, although I’m not sure why. Maybe it just really looks like it belongs in a fairy tale. In Beauty and the Beast, I love that you made it so James owns a bookstore! That’s such a good fit, and explains Belle so well. It was also clever (and sad) to add the extra element of the wife leaving. Actually, I have a question about that. You said, “Something was not right with James’ mother.” Did you mean wife? Just so you know, the words on the far right are being cut off. I don’t know if that’s something easily fixable, or is you would have to change the style of your blog entirely, which would be a shame.
Hi Haley! First off, I LOVE that waving bear on you comment wall. That is one of my favorite videos on the internet. Okay, for your actual project site, I just have one suggestion. I do like the font you chose but it is hard to read for the actual story writing. It takes a lot longer to get through the story because of it. I love the images you used. They really brought the stories to life and added an extra layer to your stories. This topic is so interesting! I love that you took these Disney stories and took it and added your own background using the parents of these characters. I think you could add more descriptions to better depict the emotions of the characters or the scenery of the story. I love the dynamic you created between the characters. It helped to solidify the story and how it connects to the original. Otherwise, I loved reading your stories. They flow very well and they kept me reading. Great job!
I think your storybook theme is very unique and creative! I would have never thought to come up with backstories for the parents of fairy tale characters. Your introduction was well-done and definitely made me want to read more.
I also enjoyed the twists you added in the Cinderella story. Ella’s powers were a nice touch and it really added a cool dynamic. Ella’s mother taking the place of the fairy godmother was great too!
In Beauty in the Beast I really liked how you wrote Belle and her father’s relationship. It was nice to see that she inherited his love for books! I’m glad you didn’t give us all the details with the ending either, it definitely lets the reader put their own input in the story.
The only thing I noticed was that the sentence “the father was kind and hated…” from Beauty and the Beast sounded a little off. You say “alone for weeks at his time” and I think you meant to put an “a” in place of “his.”
This might be just a personal problem, but the choice of font isn't very appealing. I find it pretty difficult to read things that are in all capitalized letters, but if nobody else has complained about it then I would just ignore me!
I like your introduction. It has a nice, easily digestible format that shows the reader what they're in for. Additionally, it gets the reader to start questioning the story line that they've grown up knowing.
The "Myth and Folklore" heading for your website is spread out on two lines, which is a little off-putting. Again, not really a big deal, but just a little improvement you could make.
Your first story was pretty good. I like how you included backstory for the mother and were able to tell Ella's story while keeping the mother a pivotal player in the narrative.
I liked your Beauty and the Beast story a lot. The father's character really contributed to the understanding of how Belle came to be in the original story.
Having grown up with the Disney version of these stories, I always thought of the princesses as main characters. I never thought about how the princesses were influenced by their family members. Now that you have mentioned it in the introduction, it makes sense to me and I do think it is an important part of each story.
In Cinderella, I was wowed by the power of Ella’s tears. I wonder if she ever used her tears to help others in the future.
In Beauty and the Beast, I was surprised that the Beast wanted human interaction. Also, I was surprised that the Beast did not take in the father, but had the father get his daughter. I wonder why he ignored Belle several times when she was actually there. I wonder what if you added a few sentences of what the Beast thought of Belle or give some of his thoughts while Belle was there. It would let us understand him more.
I have to admit, your storybooks is one of my favorites! I love fairy tales and getting to read about their parents and seeing an explanation for how they turned out is awesome. I thought you did a wonderful job explaining why Belle and her father were so close. The bookstore was a great way for them to connect and having it be just between Belle and her father was a good way of showing that she was the favorite. I also loved that you so effortless showed that Belle would do anything for her father. You didn't even have to go into a lot of detail. Just by stating that "she didn't bat an eye" was perfect. It emphasized their relationship even more. Your story did a great job of giving good detail, but it was also short and sweet. There wasn't an overflow of description, just enough to give the reader what they needed and to paint a clear picture of what was happening. I also really liked how you were able to briefly explain why he was raising the girls on his own. Overall I thought you did a great job and didn't really see anything specifically that needed work. I wish I could have been more help! I can't wait to read your next story!
Great work on your storybook! The parents of fairy tale characters really are glossed over on most occasions aren't they? I think that's a pretty original premise for your storybook. I really enjoyed reading Beauty and the Beast. It brought back a ton of memories from my early years watching it with my older sister who could quote the entire movie. I never made it a point to consider what her father may actually do for a living either, so your storybook made me think!
I really like the idea of your storybook. I have never thought about the parents of fairytale princesses. It is interesting to imagine what they must have been like and what they must have thought when their daughters became royalty (if they were still living). I especially liked your story about Cinderella; this was one of my favorite movies as a child. I like how you made her mother someone for everyone to look up to. She had all of the values and beliefs that Cinderella had. I also like that you added the small bits from the original story, such as the magical powers. I would suggest expanding your ending a little bit. It felt a bit rushed with the part about her falling in love with the prince and living happily ever after. It would have been cool to see her do something nice for someone else and this is what got the Prince’s attention. Just a suggestion…great stories!!
Wow, that was such a great change to a Disney and classic story. I think you did a great job with the change. I love that you kept Belle’s love of books though! I like that the father was still able to come and see his daughter while she was staying there. I wonder what would have happened if the father wouldn’t have gone back? Would the Beast come looking for the man? Would Belle find her true love if she didn’t have to go live with the Beast for a month? Would she have realized that he was her true love if she didn’t have the guts to yell at him and tell him he better start talking? I love your version of the story. I can’t wait to read your future stories. I have never read the original stories so it would be something new for me to read.
I reread my last comment I made on your wall after reading your introduction and Cinderella, so I look forward to reading Beauty and the Beast -- I think you did an excellent job with staying true to the original story and providing a lot of detail about the environment and the characterizations. I noted last time that I would like to see more dialogue, and this story definitely has it! I think the way you began to tell your story was so perfectly executed because it kept me reading and I kept predicting how it would go, but it led me on various different paths so effectively and efficiently, that I felt compelled to continue reading. Great job! I look forward to reading the story of Rapunzel soon!
I was very excited that we got a free choice this week because I wanted to see what you did next in your storybook! Once again I would just like to tell you that I love your idea and am so glad I got to read your work. Now on to your story! It was really good. I liked the changes you made to the original. I agree that this story was a little different because the original already gave a lot of details on the parents. I liked how you took that and used it to go deeper into their personalities. I always wondered what Rapunzel's parents did after the enchantress took her. It was something that bothered me because it was unresolved in my mind. I like how you had them searching for her and that by a rumor they were able to find her. I also agree that the prince becoming blind was a terrible ending and I thought you did a good job of turning that around. I thought your ending was good. You were able to kill off the enchantress without making it too brutal, which I thought was a nice touch. Great job!
Hey Haley! I am so glad I got assigned to your blog before the class ends- your storybook is so original and well written! loved your introduction. It is great that you have a theme for your entire semester planned out, and that you have the stories you have already written in addition to ones that you are planning on writing in the future. As the reader, it is intriguing to see what there is to look forward to with your writing! Not many people have a theme for their storybook that is as concise and planned out as yours, so I think yours is a great model to be shown in the future for others to follow! Your stories are creative as well. I really liked Cinderella and her interactions with her father. It really changed the original story for the better. Well done!
Hayley, this was such a fun topic to make a storybook out of. The introduction was great and I think it was really smart that you had a little synopsis of each story you would be telling right there on the home page. It gave me a chance to read through and see which story I thought I would enjoy the most. I read your re-write of Cinderella. I think you did a wonderful job and I loved the background story of the mother. Her teaching Ella how to be kind and spread love even when things seem bleak really explained why Ella grew up to be who she was. The only thing that saddened me was that the last paragraph about her receiving her dress to the ball seemed rushed and short. I assume this is because you ran out of words count space. All in all though phenomenal job!
It's interesting to see the stories of the parents being told. Usually, the fairy tales center on the children and the parents are placed at the periphery. The summaries of the stories on the front page really helped. Since your storybook is more of a short story collection, it's nice to have an overview of what each story is about. The parents' views really help reveal how the characters from the original stories developed as people. I would only suggest one thing, which would be to expand on the ending of Rapunzel's story. Right now, it seems like she should have a longer reunion with her parents or a more detailed account of it. Other than that, I don't really see anything that you should change. You have an interesting concept for a storybook. I would like to see what other fairy tales could be adapted in this way. What would Sleeping Beauty's parents be like?
I really enjoyed reading your stories! I think it’s interesting to go back and see the parents’ point of views. When I watch the movie or just read the stories, I always get really into the stories and wonder what happened. I think it will be really fun to turn this into a movie as well. In the Cinderella story, I loved how Ella had powers. It’s different from the Disney version and I think it adds something unique to the story. In the Beauty and the Beast story, I liked how you kept it similar to the original and made him turn into a prince at the end. It created a happy ending and I love happy endings! Overall, I think you chose a really great topic to write your storybook on. It was fun to read and something different.
Hi Haley!! I love your story idea. I mean, wow, that is so creative! I honestly never thought of the parents of most fairytale characters, unless they were a big part of the story themselves. One thing I would recommend (which is something someone told me to do) would be to spice up your site theme. I originally just picked a random one with a color scheme that I liked, but after going through some more of the themes, I found that there are so many cute ones! I really like the picture on your cover, so maybe something that matches that? The colors are really nice, and the nature theme goes well with the fairytale aspect!! Also, you may be able to change the title at the top, "Myth and Folklore," just to something that is more reflective of your stories! I'm excited to see how your Storybook turns out, I know it's going to be incredible!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley! I love the idea for your storybook! I agree that there is never a lot of information about the parents in fairy tales. There is always just enough information to get the story started, but sometimes there isn’t enough to quench our curiosity. I like that you are twisting the stories to make the parents the primary characters. It is always fun to read a well known story from a new perspective. I really like that you are going to dive into the pasts of individual characters. I think that will answer a lot of “I wonder” questions. The main “I wonder” question being “I wonder why they are the way they are?” I am very excited to read your storybook. I love all things fairy tale related and I think this will be an interesting take on well known stories. I am also excited to get to know these seemingly new characters! Overall I think your introduction is well put together. You give good information on what is going to be taking place and why you chose to go with this theme. The only flaw I saw was a small grammatical error in “Her dad passes away to,” it should be “too.” That was literally the only mistake that I personally saw. Well done and I can’t wait to read the rest of your storybook!
ReplyDeleteGreat Topic! I have read many fairytales, but not once, I think about the parents in those fairy tales. Never wondering why Cinderella’s stepmother treats Cinderella so badly. I just accepted the story as it is, and sometimes, these ideas are misleading like not all stepparents are bad. So, I am very intrigued by your topic.
ReplyDeleteI like your clock image in the Intro page. It stands as an allusion of time, past and future. However, I suggest you change the color of your fonts. White font on light blue background is very hard to read. Since you have the topics for the all stories that you going to tell, what do you think about some images for each topic, showing the image of the parent in the fairy tales? Like the Cinderella’s stepmother, Belle’s father, Rapunzel’s mom, and Snow White’s stepmother?
I can’t wait to read the stories of these parents!
I think your storybook is going to be really interesting! I personally loved all of those fairy tales. Cinderella was one of my favorites. It will be cool and fun to read about their parents. I never really thought about them until now. I like how you added questions in your introduction because it makes me question myself. I wonder how Cinderella’s nice mother died. Will we get to find out in the story? Also, why did Belle’s mother leave?
ReplyDeleteI think it will be interesting if you talked about both the parents because they both have a big impact on their kids.
Overall, your introduction is great. I like your idea of going way back to the past to talk about the character’s parents. It will be cool to see why they ended up the way they are. After reading your introduction, I am excited to read the stories!
Hey Haley! I was immediately drawn to your story because of your title. When I clicked on your storybook link, your cover picture really hooked me. your layout was great, love the font. It really gave off a Disney vibe. Another thing that got me was that this is set in the Disney princesses' universe. I love Disney with a passion. I could watch Disney princesses movies all day. I know that there are other people out there like me (whether they admit it or not) so you picked a great subject. We all have seen or heard the tales of these different princesses but not the back story of their parents. I love that you added a little description of who would we be reading about. Each description gives a little taste of what is to come, its a great hook. Honestly, I can not wait to read what your next story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley!
ReplyDeleteI honestly love your storybook! I thought you picked a super creative and interesting topic to do yours on and I cant wait to read more of it. I think its interesting how you never really know a whole lot about the parents of the characters in the disney movies, so I think its awesome how you've created a storybook to tell their backstories for us. I enjoyed how you gave a little exert on each character and what they experienced in their story and how it impacted their parents or how their parents impacted them to act like that. Im really looking forward to looking back at this storybook and reading more about the princesses and their parents. Keep up the good work!
Hi there Haley!!
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoyed your storybook! I think your topic is creative and out of the box. I think it is important for writers to stretch themselves and my focusing on a minor character, such as parents, is a great way to do that. I never would've thought to learn the backstories of these parents. Your introduction clearly articulated what the storybook was going to be about and what the reader is going to be expecting. Looking forward to reading your future stories. Great work.
P.S- I love the font you chose for your introduction, it gives it a handwritten feel. Makes it more authentic. Great choice!!
Hi Haley! I decided to choose your storybook for my third option. I was really intrigued by your introduction when I read it a few weeks ago and I have been patiently waiting to be able to read your first story. That being said, I was not disappointed! I thought you did a great job introducing the characters and bringing them to life. I think a "wow" factor was how in depth you portrayed Elle in such a short amount of sentences. The story wasn't very long, but you were able to clearly show what Elle was like and why she was that way, which can be hard to do. I also thought you did a good job contrasting Elle and the stepmother. The other interesting aspect was the healing powers Ella possessed, it reminded me of Tangled and how Rapunzel healed Flynn with her tears at the end. You did a great job keeping the story close to the original while also adding enough detail and changes to make it your own. The one thing that I would suggest fixing is just making sure you stay in one verb tense. There were a few places that seemed to go back and forth like "...was to celebrate his adulthood and trying to find a wife." Other than that I thought it was well written and satisfied the expectations that your introduction created.
ReplyDeleteHi Haley! I have read your storybook introduction and your first story already. However, I noticed that you added on to your introduction, which is great! I like how you laid out the path for all four stories you plan on doing. It gives us time to imagine where you will take us with your story and what questions you will answer about the parents. I think it is a great way to start out your storybook because it does a good job of hooking the reader. I also like how you changed up your layout and the images you used! The image of the road is beautiful and gives it a magical feel and provides the idea that we are fixing to embark on a journey. The clock also adds a fairy tale feel because of its unique design. The image of the cottage in your first story is also a great visual for where Elle and/or Ella were raised. Overall your image tie into your storybook very well! After rereading your story I was reminded how much I enjoyed it. I think you did a really good job portraying Elle and showing us how she helped influence Ella growing up. I also think you added to your author's note because it is a little different than I remember, but I think it is great and provides good information to link the reader to your inspiration for your story! Good job and I can't wait to read your next stories!
ReplyDeleteHaley,
ReplyDeleteI'm slightly cracking up at your take for your future story posts. I mean that in the best way possible because it is so different and my mind was already flooded with so many different ways to write the stories that we have already read in class.
Cinderella - I think you did an excellent job avoiding making this story too dark due to the story's origin. I think your description is spot on, I would have liked to have seen some more dialogue and for it to be in it's own section. I appreciate the even formatting of your writing.
Haley,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Wow! Such a fun and creative idea to run with for your storybook! It is always interesting to play with the supporting characters of such famous stories.
Secondly, after reading both your introduction and Cinderella addition I was really impressed with your writing. Reading the Cinderella portion of your introduction was great in preparing me to read your newest update.
As for the actual Cinderella piece, I found myself enjoying the story as it went along but I did hope to have more dialogue and detail added in. Now that is kind of a vague suggestion but as I was reading I realized I wanted to know even more about the character of Elle. I would suggest reading over your piece with a fine tooth comb and looking out for any other places you could add detail or maybe just add in some more dialogue so the reader gets a clear idea of Elle's voice (metaphorically).
Otherwise, like I said I really enjoyed your creative storybook thus far, I cannot wait to read more!
Belle
I’m glad that keep the main story the same as the original version. Your version did clarify why Cinderella is very optimistic and kind heart even she lives such a hard life full with curse and hardship. It was taught to her by her loving mother. Like her mother, who spread the joy to other people and received happy life although it was short, Cinderella received her rewards for her kindness and optimistic view. I was hoping that Cinderella’s father would be change to make Cinderella’s life better. I keep wondering why her father is not noticing Cinderella’s ugly clothes while his stepdaughters wore expensive outfits. Maybe you can give some reasons why he is not noticing like the Stepmother made her daughters dressed like Cinderella so Cinderella is not stand out etc. In addition, there is a little spelling error. In third paragraph, I think you meant Ella is a splitting image of her mom, but the sentence was “she was the spitting image…” Finally, your font is a bit hard to read. Can you make it larger or change the font to easier-to-read font? Overall, I love your story. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. When I was finished reading your story my first thought was it was a Cinderella and Ella Enchanted mixture. I like the fact that her father made it back with a branch for his daughter. The idea of the branch he brought back growing into a tree is amazing. The tree that would be home to all here friends right next to her mothers grave is a great idea, because when you are sad you can always use the help of your friends. I enjoy the fact that her father is still alive at this point in the story! It is a great change from the original. I wonder what would happen if something happened to one of here rude stepsisters? If not her stepsisters maybe her rude, manner less stepmother? I am happy that Ella married the prince and had a daughter. I can't wait to see what happens in the rest of the story!
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ReplyDeleteHey, Haley!
ReplyDeleteI love that your intro makes me think about my parents (as they totally rock)- but also makes me think about fairy tale character parents. The first thing that came to my mind was about Cinderella-- and I can see that's your first story!
Cinderella:
I love how creative you were making this story. There are so many different ways that you could have developed these characters, but you chose one that fit the story so well! I love the twist that you put on the end, rather than to introduce the fairy godmother. It really brings the whole story together. Such a great twist on a popular story!
Beauty and the Beast:
This story really shows that James was such a good dad. He just wanted to make his girls happy! I love that this story has a happy ending. It was cool to see the details surrounding the original, well known story. Great job on your project, cant wait to read more!
These are some fun stories! It’s a cool idea . . . I feel like it’s common to go into the perspective of the bad guy, but much less common to do that with the parent. I also really like your first image, although I’m not sure why. Maybe it just really looks like it belongs in a fairy tale.
ReplyDeleteIn Beauty and the Beast, I love that you made it so James owns a bookstore! That’s such a good fit, and explains Belle so well. It was also clever (and sad) to add the extra element of the wife leaving. Actually, I have a question about that. You said, “Something was not right with James’ mother.” Did you mean wife?
Just so you know, the words on the far right are being cut off. I don’t know if that’s something easily fixable, or is you would have to change the style of your blog entirely, which would be a shame.
Hi Haley!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I LOVE that waving bear on you comment wall. That is one of my favorite videos on the internet. Okay, for your actual project site, I just have one suggestion. I do like the font you chose but it is hard to read for the actual story writing. It takes a lot longer to get through the story because of it. I love the images you used. They really brought the stories to life and added an extra layer to your stories. This topic is so interesting! I love that you took these Disney stories and took it and added your own background using the parents of these characters. I think you could add more descriptions to better depict the emotions of the characters or the scenery of the story. I love the dynamic you created between the characters. It helped to solidify the story and how it connects to the original. Otherwise, I loved reading your stories. They flow very well and they kept me reading. Great job!
I think your storybook theme is very unique and creative! I would have never thought to come up with backstories for the parents of fairy tale characters. Your introduction was well-done and definitely made me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed the twists you added in the Cinderella story. Ella’s powers were a nice touch and it really added a cool dynamic. Ella’s mother taking the place of the fairy godmother was great too!
In Beauty in the Beast I really liked how you wrote Belle and her father’s relationship. It was nice to see that she inherited his love for books! I’m glad you didn’t give us all the details with the ending either, it definitely lets the reader put their own input in the story.
The only thing I noticed was that the sentence “the father was kind and hated…” from Beauty and the Beast sounded a little off. You say “alone for weeks at his time” and I think you meant to put an “a” in place of “his.”
Other than that everything looks great!
This might be just a personal problem, but the choice of font isn't very appealing. I find it pretty difficult to read things that are in all capitalized letters, but if nobody else has complained about it then I would just ignore me!
ReplyDeleteI like your introduction. It has a nice, easily digestible format that shows the reader what they're in for. Additionally, it gets the reader to start questioning the story line that they've grown up knowing.
The "Myth and Folklore" heading for your website is spread out on two lines, which is a little off-putting. Again, not really a big deal, but just a little improvement you could make.
Your first story was pretty good. I like how you included backstory for the mother and were able to tell Ella's story while keeping the mother a pivotal player in the narrative.
I liked your Beauty and the Beast story a lot. The father's character really contributed to the understanding of how Belle came to be in the original story.
Having grown up with the Disney version of these stories, I always thought of the princesses as main characters. I never thought about how the princesses were influenced by their family members. Now that you have mentioned it in the introduction, it makes sense to me and I do think it is an important part of each story.
ReplyDeleteIn Cinderella, I was wowed by the power of Ella’s tears. I wonder if she ever used her tears to help others in the future.
In Beauty and the Beast, I was surprised that the Beast wanted human interaction. Also, I was surprised that the Beast did not take in the father, but had the father get his daughter. I wonder why he ignored Belle several times when she was actually there. I wonder what if you added a few sentences of what the Beast thought of Belle or give some of his thoughts while Belle was there. It would let us understand him more.
I have to admit, your storybooks is one of my favorites! I love fairy tales and getting to read about their parents and seeing an explanation for how they turned out is awesome. I thought you did a wonderful job explaining why Belle and her father were so close. The bookstore was a great way for them to connect and having it be just between Belle and her father was a good way of showing that she was the favorite. I also loved that you so effortless showed that Belle would do anything for her father. You didn't even have to go into a lot of detail. Just by stating that "she didn't bat an eye" was perfect. It emphasized their relationship even more. Your story did a great job of giving good detail, but it was also short and sweet. There wasn't an overflow of description, just enough to give the reader what they needed and to paint a clear picture of what was happening. I also really liked how you were able to briefly explain why he was raising the girls on his own. Overall I thought you did a great job and didn't really see anything specifically that needed work. I wish I could have been more help! I can't wait to read your next story!
ReplyDeleteGreat work on your storybook! The parents of fairy tale characters really are glossed over on most occasions aren't they? I think that's a pretty original premise for your storybook. I really enjoyed reading Beauty and the Beast. It brought back a ton of memories from my early years watching it with my older sister who could quote the entire movie. I never made it a point to consider what her father may actually do for a living either, so your storybook made me think!
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of your storybook. I have never thought about the parents of fairytale princesses. It is interesting to imagine what they must have been like and what they must have thought when their daughters became royalty (if they were still living). I especially liked your story about Cinderella; this was one of my favorite movies as a child. I like how you made her mother someone for everyone to look up to. She had all of the values and beliefs that Cinderella had. I also like that you added the small bits from the original story, such as the magical powers. I would suggest expanding your ending a little bit. It felt a bit rushed with the part about her falling in love with the prince and living happily ever after. It would have been cool to see her do something nice for someone else and this is what got the Prince’s attention. Just a suggestion…great stories!!
ReplyDeleteWow, that was such a great change to a Disney and classic story. I think you did a great job with the change. I love that you kept Belle’s love of books though! I like that the father was still able to come and see his daughter while she was staying there. I wonder what would have happened if the father wouldn’t have gone back? Would the Beast come looking for the man? Would Belle find her true love if she didn’t have to go live with the Beast for a month? Would she have realized that he was her true love if she didn’t have the guts to yell at him and tell him he better start talking? I love your version of the story. I can’t wait to read your future stories. I have never read the original stories so it would be something new for me to read.
ReplyDeleteHaley,
ReplyDeleteI reread my last comment I made on your wall after reading your introduction and Cinderella, so I look forward to reading Beauty and the Beast
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I think you did an excellent job with staying true to the original story and providing a lot of detail about the environment and the characterizations. I noted last time that I would like to see more dialogue, and this story definitely has it! I think the way you began to tell your story was so perfectly executed because it kept me reading and I kept predicting how it would go, but it led me on various different paths so effectively and efficiently, that I felt compelled to continue reading. Great job! I look forward to reading the story of Rapunzel soon!
I was very excited that we got a free choice this week because I wanted to see what you did next in your storybook! Once again I would just like to tell you that I love your idea and am so glad I got to read your work. Now on to your story! It was really good. I liked the changes you made to the original. I agree that this story was a little different because the original already gave a lot of details on the parents. I liked how you took that and used it to go deeper into their personalities. I always wondered what Rapunzel's parents did after the enchantress took her. It was something that bothered me because it was unresolved in my mind. I like how you had them searching for her and that by a rumor they were able to find her. I also agree that the prince becoming blind was a terrible ending and I thought you did a good job of turning that around. I thought your ending was good. You were able to kill off the enchantress without making it too brutal, which I thought was a nice touch. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Haley!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I got assigned to your blog before the class ends- your storybook is so original and well written!
loved your introduction. It is great that you have a theme for your entire semester planned out, and that you have the stories you have already written in addition to ones that you are planning on writing in the future. As the reader, it is intriguing to see what there is to look forward to with your writing!
Not many people have a theme for their storybook that is as concise and planned out as yours, so I think yours is a great model to be shown in the future for others to follow!
Your stories are creative as well. I really liked Cinderella and her interactions with her father. It really changed the original story for the better. Well done!
Hayley, this was such a fun topic to make a storybook out of. The introduction was great and I think it was really smart that you had a little synopsis of each story you would be telling right there on the home page. It gave me a chance to read through and see which story I thought I would enjoy the most. I read your re-write of Cinderella. I think you did a wonderful job and I loved the background story of the mother. Her teaching Ella how to be kind and spread love even when things seem bleak really explained why Ella grew up to be who she was. The only thing that saddened me was that the last paragraph about her receiving her dress to the ball seemed rushed and short. I assume this is because you ran out of words count space. All in all though phenomenal job!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see the stories of the parents being told. Usually, the fairy tales center on the children and the parents are placed at the periphery. The summaries of the stories on the front page really helped. Since your storybook is more of a short story collection, it's nice to have an overview of what each story is about. The parents' views really help reveal how the characters from the original stories developed as people. I would only suggest one thing, which would be to expand on the ending of Rapunzel's story. Right now, it seems like she should have a longer reunion with her parents or a more detailed account of it. Other than that, I don't really see anything that you should change. You have an interesting concept for a storybook. I would like to see what other fairy tales could be adapted in this way. What would Sleeping Beauty's parents be like?
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your stories! I think it’s interesting to go back and see the parents’ point of views. When I watch the movie or just read the stories, I always get really into the stories and wonder what happened. I think it will be really fun to turn this into a movie as well. In the Cinderella story, I loved how Ella had powers. It’s different from the Disney version and I think it adds something unique to the story. In the Beauty and the Beast story, I liked how you kept it similar to the original and made him turn into a prince at the end. It created a happy ending and I love happy endings!
ReplyDeleteOverall, I think you chose a really great topic to write your storybook on. It was fun to read and something different.